So now, I just stop. And then I pray. (I have to, or I’ll still say something hurtful.) I know it doesn’t sound very spiritual, especially since I said I have walked with God for a long time. (That’s why I need His grace and mercy every single day.) But dealing with this tongue is a battle of its own! James 3:6 tells us, “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” Holding on to that last word is not easy; I won’t pretend that it is. But God has been so faithful to me and has moved so mightily on my behalf that now I stop in my tracks when I hear Him. He ends those disagreements and sends His peace right into the room!
God even gave me the Scripture to remind me that He will always take care of me, even in the midst of an argument. It’s in Exodus 14:14 NKJV, “The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.” (I share this verse with wives all the time!)
The problem is: many of us have to have that one last word, even if we know it should not be said. When I was a classroom teacher, I called it the “last word syndrome.” Many of my students suffered from this condition, and a lot of us do today! We really need to ask ourselves, “Is it more important to be right or righteous?” Righteousness calls for obedience, and obedience will require some sacrifice and self-control.
God also reminded me that He has placed words of life in my mouth. I have been a life-speaker for as long as I can remember. That also means He is holding me accountable for what comes out of my mouth. (Lord, have mercy!)
Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” God has given us the ability to change the environment by what comes out of our mouths. You can produce life or death, so what do you choose? Ask yourself, “Does this really need to be said? Are these word life-affirming?” You may need to take a walk to cool down or just step away for a moment. Although you may have the chance to apologize later, those words cannot be erased. “I’m sorry,” may not take away the pain you caused. Use wisdom!
The Manna Chef 